What you are about to read is NOT real news. It is satire. Where possible we have provided links to the real stories/issues that inspire us at the bottom of each article.

Follow us on Twitter @Students_Last

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

"Bagel Summit" for Randi and Campbell?

Washington D.C. - American Federation of Teachers President Randi Weingarten and former CNN journalist Campbell Brown received an unexpected invitation today from President Barack Obama. At a press conference, Obama invited both women to the White House for “some bagels and lox” (a nod to the fact that both women are Jews or have lived in New York City we don’t know which).  He expressed his hope that the “Bagel Summit” would "cool things off between the two."

The women have been digitally feuding since Ms. Brown charged, in a Wall Street Journal piece, that teacher unions allow sexual predators to stay in the classroom.  Ms. Weingarten shot back that this was nonsense, citing both the language of the UFT/NYC contract and the Fourth Amendment. The two then exchanged battling tweets for 48-hours. The Twitter war caught the eye of some in the beltway, including Politico and the Washington Post. Thus bringing it to the president's attention.

“The fact that it [the Twitter war] has garnered so much attention is a testimony to the fact that this is a sensitive issue,” the President said.  “They are both outstanding people who just, you know, lost their goddamn minds." Asked to comment on the President’s words, Weingarten said, “Well one of us is outstanding.”

The invitation has its critics. Michelle Rhee suggested that the summit might have a negative impact on education reform.  “Quite frankly, we don’t want union leaders to be seen eating in public. It is not in our best interests that they be perceived as human.”

At last report, neither Campbell nor Weingarten had accepted the president's offer.

Reality Alert: Interested in how we came to write this? Read Sara Jaffe here.

1 comment:

  1. If only.

    If only Randi Weingarten was as strong in defense of her members as the odious Campbell Brown is in absolute hatred and slander of those same people.

    I hate to say it, but Weingarten has been uninspiring at best and an outright sellout and collaborator at worst in her "leadership" of the AFT.

    I only WISH this were the BATTLE some people have portrayed it as being. It's not. What's awful is my very real belief that Weingarten by now has already contacted Brown privately and "apologized" and "promised to do better".

    Why do I believe this? Because it would continue the pattern we've seen from the mushy, soft, malleable Weingarten for the past several years.

    This is what happens when you sellout: it actually makes you weaker. They know now that you can be "rolled"...