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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Replaceable You

A chart from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics illustrates
that eventually every American will be a teacher
Washington D.C. - Have you ever dreamed of being a teacher? Well whether you have or you haven't, odds are that one day you will be employed as a classroom teacher. On Tuesday, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics released a report which predicted that by the year 2025 100% of Americans over the age of 24 will have worked as a teacher at some point in their life. Statistician Anzahl Lugner elaborated, "Given current trends, we feel it is inevitable that every American will eventually be able to say that he or she is or was a teacher."

How is this even possible? Lugner explained, "You've got baby boomers retiring coupled with the inevitable effects of linking teacher evaluations to student test scores. Some cities like Chicago are laying off teachers and finding cheaper and less qualified replacements while others are seeing an improving economy which has increased options for educators who feel disrespected, disgruntled and overworked. Finally, you have charter schools whose philosophy is to use up teachers and them spit 'em out." In fact, Lugner anticipates that in the very near future a 'veteran teacher' will be someone who has taught for 18 months.

According to the report, another possible ramification of high teacher turnover, will be the lowering of requirements for new teachers. Precedent for such a move already exists. For example, programs such as Teach for America wave certification requirements for incoming "teachers." It's possible that to fill empty positions, states will drop the requirement that teachers have college degrees. They might even be forced to drop the high school diploma expectation which would lead to the interesting and ironic situation of high school drop-outs teaching high school students."

When reached for comment Karen Lewis, president of the Chicago Teachers Union, called Lugner's predictions, "Ridiculous but not surprising. The surprising thing is that anyone, anywhere wants to enter the revolving door that the teaching profession has become."

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