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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Teacher Bashing: New Olympic Event?

Sochi, Russia - Even before the games have ended, officials are debating what events to include at the 2018 Olympics to be held in South Korea.

Olympic spokesman Vladmir Grasmoski offered the short list of potential events to reporters yesterday during a press conference in Sochi. The proposed events include: ice fishing, ballroom snowboarding and synchronized figure skiing. But it was teacher bashing that garnered the most attention.  

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, who cuts an atypical figure for an Olympian, is expected to serve as the team captain if the event is approved. "We have some Olympic quality players in our country with several of our athletes training for years for this opportunity," noted Christie. Though it would be premature to name team members before trial events, several names have been bandied about including, Michelle Rhee, Scott Brown and Tom Luna. "Our country is fortunate to have so many athletes at such an elite level," Christie smiled as he contemplated the possibilities. 

While teacher bashing enjoys wide appeal in America, representatives from other countries expressed doubts. "I don't think it will make it to the Olympics because the rest of the world doesn't want to play," said Luukos Veikko of Finland. "We have a lot of respect for our educators. I'm not sure we could even field a team," explained the head of the Finnish Olympic Committee.

"Every year we receive dozens of suggestions for events," said Grendalino in response to a question from an ESPN reporter about whether or not teacher bashing actually stood a chance of becoming an Olympic event. "You never know what will make it and what won't. The trick is understanding that trends should not always dictate decisions."

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